Stupid Love: A Friends to Lovers Romantic Comedy (The Prescotts Book 1) Page 3

Stop. He cut himself off mid-thought.

  She peeled back the wrapping paper, letting it flutter to the floor, and then opened the simple cardboard box.

  “EEEEEEEEE! Theo! I can’t believe you remembered these!” she said, her face glowing. He grinned at her, his chest filling with a warm, gooey feeling, like his insides were melted marshmallow.

  “What is it?” asked Willa, peering over.

  Lauren fished the three geometrically shaped stacking rings out of the box. “I saw these in a little store like two months ago and I loved them, but I didn’t get them because they were too expensive.” She smacked him on the arm. “These are too expensive!” But she put them on her right index finger right away. She smiled at him, her green eyes sparkling, her cheeks flushed and he felt an answering tug in his chest. He reached for his beer, deciding the best course of action was to douse it.

  Everyone else started passing their gifts to Lauren, but Theo couldn’t help smiling at the way she kept looking at the rings and adjusting them on her finger. She got a candle from Aspen—designed to perfectly align her chakras, apparently—a charm bracelet from Dori, a book from Willa, some perfume from Brandon, who worked at Saks, a mug from Kayla, Willa’s roommate, and guitar strings from Aiden.

  But through it all, she kept looking at the rings. And he liked that she kept looking at them. Liked it way too much for a guy who didn’t do relationships because he didn’t believe in love or happily ever after.

  As soon as the gifts were opened, the announcer called Lauren to the stage to sing her first song of the night. She walked up to the stage with all of the confidence and swagger of a seasoned musician and took the mic with a smile, shimmying her shoulders a little as the opening strains of Prince’s “Kiss” started playing. He took a sip of his beer, almost missing the table when he went to set it back down because he couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

  A very drunk woman sashayed up to their table just then, her eyes locked on Theo. Fuck. All he wanted to do was listen to Lauren sing, not fend off a drunk chick.

  “You,” she said, pointing at him with a finger tipped by an impossibly long and pointy pink nail. “You are literally the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen,” she said, slurring slightly. “Like, handcrafted by angels or something.” And then she planted herself in his lap.

  Theo heard Lauren’s singing falter from on stage and he craned his neck, trying to see her around the woman.

  “Sorry, I’m not interested,” he said. He’d learned over the years that bluntness was his friend. Especially considering she was on him and he wanted her off. Like, now.

  “Oh my God, are you hitting on my boyfriend?” came Brandon’s shocked voice. “Honey, are you okay? Get off him. Off off off,” he said, making an exaggerated shooing motion with his hands.

  “Sorry,” the woman mumbled, at least having the grace to look chagrined as she stumbled back to wherever she’d come from. Brandon took her spot, sitting down on Theo’s lap and winding his arms around his neck.

  “Thanks for the save, man,” said Theo.

  “She was just like, on you. Ew. So inappropriate. You good?” Brandon glanced back in the direction of the woman, wiggling his fingers at her.

  “Yeah. How’s everything going?”

  Brandon slid off of him and into Lauren’s empty chair. “Oh, you know. Great. Still broke, still working at Saks, still trying to write the next gay American novel.”

  Theo cocked an eyebrow at him. “I thought it was great American novel.”

  “I like my version better.” He took a sip of his drink and glanced around the bar. “Sigh. Too bad you’re not actually my boyfriend.”

  “What happened with…I wanna say Derek?”

  Brandon waved his hand. “Daddy issues.”

  “That sucks, man. I know you liked him.”

  Lauren finished her song and made her way back to the table, picking up her wine and taking a big swig. She gestured at Theo’s lap. “What was that all about?”

  Brandon stood from Lauren’s chair and made a face. “Just some shameless hussy making a play for our Theo. Don’t worry, she thinks he’s with me.”

  Lauren grinned. “You two would make an adorable couple.”

  Brandon laughed. “I know, right? You just need to convince him of that.”

  “I don’t think I can convince Theo that he’s gay when he’s not.”

  Brandon cupped Theo’s face. “Are you sure you’re not gay? Like, 100% sure?”

  Theo grinned and nodded. “Yeah, Bran. I’m 100% sure. Sorry, dude.”

  “Fine. Break my heart.” He gave Theo a teasing once over. “What a waste. Please tell me you’re at least having regular sex with someone.”

  Lauren’s glass froze halfway between her mouth and the table, and Theo could feel her eyes on him. He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and shook his head. “Nope. I haven’t even been on a date in months.”

  “You don’t have to date someone to fuck them.”

  “Brandon,” admonished Lauren. Theo was surprised to see her cheeks were a little pink.

  “What? Just saying.” Brandon shrugged and popped a deep-fried mushroom from the basket on their table into his mouth. He turned to respond to something Kayla had said and Lauren’s hand wrapped around Theo’s bicep. Her fingers curled into him in a very appealing way.

  “Oh my God, I forgot to tell you what happened earlier,” she said, taking another big sip of her wine. She leaned in close, her hair tickling his cheek as she whisper-shouted in his ear. “I walked in on Aspen and some rando having freaking tantric sex in our living room.”

  He almost choked on his beer. “What? You what?”

  “Uh huh. Incense, sitar music, oil, chanting. The whole nine yards.”

  “But why did they have to do that in the living room? She has a bedroom.”

  Her fingers curled even tighter into him and he felt a warm little tug in his stomach. “That’s what I said! She’s nuts.”

  “Truly,” he agreed, glancing down the table at Aspen, who looked like she was trying to do some kind of healing thing on poor Dori.

  “Hey!” shouted Lauren suddenly, following his gaze. “No reiki at the bar!”

  Aspen pouted but left Dori alone. Dori sent her a grateful smile.

  “Do you want to stay at mine tonight?” he asked. It wasn’t an unusual question. He had a three-bedroom condo all to himself and Lauren crashed at his place regularly, usually because Aspen was driving her bananas. Plus tonight, his place was a lot closer than hers.

  She bit her lip, something flickering in her eyes that he didn’t know how to read. “Sure, yeah. That’d be great. Then Aspen can do her sunrise yoga naked like she prefers.”

  Theo chuckled, wondering how Lauren put up with her, but he didn’t feel like it was his place to question their odd friendship.

  “Mr. Theodore, I need your help,” said Willa, leaning a hip against the table and nursing a gin and tonic.

  “Sure, but only if you promise not to call me Theodore ever again. I am not one of the Chipmunks.”

  “Oh, but Theodore was the cute one! Alvin was a brat and Simon was a nerd, but Theodore was so sweet.” When Theo just shook his head, she stuck her tongue out at him and smiled. “Anyway, I was wondering if maybe your brother Max’s company is hiring? My last contract just ended and I thought maybe…”

  Kayla set her drink down on the table hard. “Oh no. You do not want to work for a Prescott, trust me.”

  “I keep forgetting that Sebastian’s your boss,” said Lauren, finishing her drink and picking up a new one from the almost empty tray. “No bueno?”

  “God, no. Sorry Theo. We love you, but Sebastian’s a dick.”

  Theo blew out a breath, trying not to laugh. “Trust me, I’m not in the least bit shocked to hear that.”

  “Okay, but I’m asking about working for Max,” said Willa cheerfully, waving away Kayla’s comment. “I have a masters’ degree in software engineering and I want to put it to
use.”

  Kayla made a face. “I bet Max is a dick, too.”

  Theo tilted his head, considering. “I mean, he’s grumpy as hell, which sometimes comes across as being a dick. But he’s…less rough around the edges than Sebastian.” He looked over at Willa. “I’ll ask him if there’s anything available at Tapp.”

  She pressed her hands together. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

  Lauren smiled ruefully and shook her head. “Funny how in a city of eight and a half million people, the world can still be so small.”

  Dori suddenly appeared, carrying a new tray covered in shots. “Okay, enough chit chat. Lauren is twenty-nine, which is almost thirty, which means it’s time to draaaaaank.”

  Aiden stood and grabbed a shot from the tray, tossing it back. Then he gestured in the general direction that the drunk woman had come from. “I don’t know how you do it, man. You’ve gotta teach me some of your moves.”

  Theo laughed, but before he could say anything, Lauren cut in. “Please. Theo doesn’t have any moves.”

  He swiveled to look at her. “Oh, yeah?”

  She smiled sweetly at him and then booped him on the nose. “Your only move is looking like a long-lost Hemsworth brother.”

  “Damn. Can’t really copy that one,” said Aiden, smiling ruefully. Lauren laid a hand on his shoulder.

  “Aw, Aiden. You’re cute as shit, you’re a talented musician, and you’re a total sweetheart. I know there’s someone out there for you.” She squeezed his shoulder and he smiled at her, laying his hand on top of hers. Something hot and prickly stuck in Theo’s throat as he watched them and he took a swig of his beer, trying to swallow the sensation down.

  Lauren broke away from Aiden and picked up one of the shots. “To the last year of my twenties!” she said, and everyone raised their drinks.

  “Happy birthday, Lauren!”

  4

  “Oh, God,” Lauren groaned, hugging the cool porcelain of the toilet in Theo’s guest bathroom. “Fucking shots. Fucking Dori. Fucking…oh no.” Her stomach heaved, her muscles tightened and her eyes watered as she threw up again. From just behind her, Theo adjusted his gentle grip on her hair, holding it carefully out of her face, while his other hand rubbed soothing circles on her back. She shuddered and reached forward, flushing the toilet. Backing away oh so carefully, she curled up into a ball on the tile floor. The intricate gray and white herringbone pattern made her head swim, so she closed her eyes.

  Theo gently tugged on her arm. “Come on, Lo. Let’s get you up and get you some water.”

  “No,” she moaned. “I live here now. Just leave me. Save yourself.” She waved him away with a lazy swatting motion.

  She heard him laugh softly and opened her eyes just in time to see his bare feet move away through the curtain of hair in front of her eyes. She pressed her cheek into the cold tile, taking several deep breaths and wishing her stomach would calm down. Her throat burned, her head was pounding, and her mouth tasted like vomity booze.

  “Ugh,” she groaned, forcing herself to sit up. She curled her legs into her chest and rested her forehead on her knees. Those last three or four—okay, let’s be honest, it was five—shots definitely hadn’t been necessary. But she’d been having so much fun, drinking and eating and singing with her friends. She and Theo had done their usual duet of “Islands in the Stream,” and she’d sang with both Aiden and Brandon, too. Each drink had gone down easier than the last and by the time she realized that she’d overdone it, it had been too late. They’d left the bar after one and she’d started feeling queasy in the cab back to Theo’s.

  Theo came back into the bathroom and set a few things down onto the spacious counter. “Come on. Up you get,” he said, extending one of those big hands to her. She laid her fingers in his palm, her skin tingling at the contact. She let him help her to her feet, but he didn’t let go of her hand. Probably because he didn’t trust her not to fall over.

  “I brought you a spare toothbrush, some toothpaste, and some clothes to change into if you want. Get comfy and then I’ve got a bottomless glass of water with your name on it. Oh, and there’s Advil in that drawer,” he said, pointing to the top middle drawer in the massive vanity.

  “’Kay,” she managed to croak out. He gave her hand a squeeze and then left her alone in the bathroom, the door closing quietly behind him.

  With sluggish movements, she stripped off her black blouse and skintight maroon-colored jeans. Standing in her bra and panties, she splashed come cool water on her face and then took a few deep gulps right from the tap, the water smoothing over the rough burning still lingering in her throat. She patted her face dry with the fluffy hand towel by the sink and then brushed her teeth, eager to get the taste of puke out of her mouth. Once she was finished, she pulled on the clothes Theo had left for her—a pair of black leggings she’d left here not long ago, and his beat up navy blue Columbia Law hoodie. She tugged it on over her head and inhaled deeply, her stomach moving in a much more appealing way at the subtle hint of Theo buried in the worn fabric.

  She checked herself in the mirror, wiping away a small mascara smear from beneath her eye, and then made her way into the living room, her fingers curled into the sleeves of the enormous hoodie. “Hey,” she said, smiling sheepishly at Theo, who was on the couch, two glasses of water on the coffee table in front of him along with a banana, some saltines, and a little bowl of cashews. He was still wearing the light blue sweater and dark jeans he’d worn to the bar. He had this way of wearing clothes that she envied. Like he’d just tossed on whatever and it looked perfect. Like he’d just stepped out of the pages of a J. Crew ad, no big deal.

  “You should try to eat something. It might help settle your stomach.”

  She plopped down on the couch, still feeling a little shaky despite the fact that she was mostly sober now. Throwing up had a way of killing the party vibe. She surveyed the food warily before picking up a glass of water and a saltine. She nibbled delicately at the edges of it, testing the waters of her still unsettled stomach.

  Theo turned on the TV and scrolled through his streaming apps before selecting one and then putting on an episode of Friends. She grinned, taking a tentative sip of water.

  “We don’t have to watch this. I know you hate it.”

  He leaned back against the couch, one arm slung casually across the back of it. “First of all, it’s your birthday, so hell yes we’re going to watch your favorite show. Second, I don’t hate Friends. I just hate Ross. Joey was Rachel’s lobster, and that’s a hill I’m prepared to die on.”

  She took another bite of her cracker, brushing away a few crumbs that landed on her/Theo’s oversized sweatshirt. “What? You’re crazy. Joey was not her lobster. That was a throwaway storyline that started in season eight when the show was starting to run out of steam. Rachel was always meant to be with Ross.”

  “No, you’re crazy. Ross and Rachel were horrible together, mostly because he’s a toxic, insecure asshole.”

  She shrugged, watching the episode play. “I mean, I never thought Ross was Prince Charming or anything, but...”

  “Ross was the fucking worst. He’s whiny. He’s pathetic. He’s jealous and needy and doesn’t give a shit about what Rachel wants. He was incapable of putting her first. Ross,” he said, pointing at the TV screen, “is not the kind of guy who buys Rachel flowers on the regular.”

  She ate some more of her cracker and tucked her legs up under herself. “Okay, okay. I get what you’re saying. But that doesn’t mean Joey was her lobster.”

  “But he was. And it’s mostly because they were friends first. That’s how all the best relationships start.”

  Lauren froze, her glass of water halfway to her mouth. “What do you mean?” she asked, trying to keep her voice casual, even though her heart had just doubled its tempo. He wasn’t talking about them...was he? Did she hope he was talking about them? She honestly wasn’t sure. Yeah, she was attracted to him and they had an amazing connection but..
.was that something she was willing to risk? Neither of them had the best track record when it came to love and relationships.

  “Joey knows Rachel better than almost anyone. They cheer each other on and support each other. They see each other’s flaws and accept them. Ross felt entitled to Rachel. Joey just wanted her to be happy.”

  “So you think because they were friends for years and years first, that set them up for success?”

  “Yeah. Because he never stopped treating her like you would a friend. He never stopped supporting her, or believing in her, or putting her needs first. He let her move in with baby Emma even though it meant giving up part of his living space, sacrificing his sex life, and living in baby-proofed craziness. He fell in love with her when she was pregnant with another man’s baby! And even when they broke up, he was respectful of her feelings. Because he’s her friend.”

  “So if I got knocked up with some other dude’s baby, you’d let me move in?”

  Something that almost looked like anguish passed over Theo’s features, just for a second, before he wiped it away with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He stared at her for another second.

  “In a heartbeat, Lo,” he finally said, picking up his own glass of water and taking a long sip.

  And just like that, she started to cry.

  “Shit, I’m sorry, did I—” Theo asked, a look of sheer panic on his face.

  She shook her head, wiping away her tears with the cuff of his sweatshirt sleeve. “No, no, you didn’t. It’s just that...” She bit her trembling lip, her eyes still stinging. She couldn’t tell him. It all sounded so pathetic. “It’s stupid.”

  “Give me a dollar,” he said, his hand on her shoulder.

  “What?” She frowned, wondering if maybe she was still drunker than she’d originally thought.

  “Give me a dollar,” he repeated. Eyeing him suspiciously, she stood and made her way to the front hall where she’d dropped her purse. She pulled a beat up dollar bill from her wallet and handed it to him, sitting back down. He took it, folded it in half and slipped it into the pocket of his jeans. “Thank you. You have now retained the expert and discreet counsel of Theo Prescott, attorney at law. As part of attorney-client privilege, anything you tell me is completely confidential and will never, ever leave this couch.”